Saturday, February 24, 2007

A Birthday Comes But Once A Year...THANKFULLY!

Its here! On time, as always. No, I don’t have a Peter Pan complex nor do I crave a sip from the Fountain of Youth or Eternal Life or what have you.

So what do I have against birthdays?
For me, a Birthday brings with it a lot of pressure. Any other day, one goes through life, questioning anything and everything (if u lucky enough), from the mundane to the philosophic to the physical to whatever ur twisted mind can think of.
But for whatever reason, the questions that haunt u on ur birthday just seem to be innumerous in quantity, insurmountable in scope and surely some of the toughest ones ever.

Like: What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Who really loves me? Who doesnt? How will it all ends? Whom do I love? Can I love? WHAT is love? Am I afraid of death? What is life? How long before I am let down again? Can I trust them? Can I trust myslef? Why all this mediocrity? When will the excuses stop? What is this all about? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Will this scar heal? Do scars really heal? Am I making the right choices? Are there really any choices? How can I make a difference? Is she still with me? What do I hope to achieve by putting all this on my blog? Who the f*@# cares? Etc etc..you get the point!:-)

Needless to say, most of these questions are pretty stupid, unimportant etc but that again is not the point.Is it??lol
And the beauty of it all is that like most questions, these too don’t really have answers.
But on any other day, u r more willing to accept that reality and move ahead and try to make the best of it and learn to ask better questions and hence answer the previous...

BUT BUT BUT...on the "BIRTHDAY",one does not have that luxury.Do they??

Come Birthday and suddenly there seems to be this deathly(no pun intended) pressure to actually ANSWER those questions already! The usual simple minded explanations that you usually give yourslef and so readilly accept,just wont work Today!
And obviously one cant answer them any better than they coudl have yesterday,

And so, hence , thus, it’s frustrating, annoying and sometimes depressing!
A simple enough logic,aint it?

SO do I hate birthdays?? Not really.
Cause there r many beautiful things about birthdays.Like, today is also the day my lovely niece, Anahita came into this world 6 years ago. And sometimes looking at her smile, hearing her wish u happy birthday and say how much she loves u...u begin to realize that maybe therein lie all the answers that u might possibly need...and more.

And yes, today also marks the First Anniversary of this blog of mine. Thanks to all who have visited and continue to do so and comment and read etc etc. I appreciate it. And I apologies for the drop in posts. Will try to change that!

So, do I hate birthdays???

NO, but I am thankful that it’s just once a year! :-)

9 comments:

  1. I had read this on another blog someplace.

    Chill, Chill, just chill :) Baby?? just chill, chill, just chill.

    Happy birthday!!!!!!

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  2. Happy Bday Kushal! :P

    If you're asking these questions and that too in a 'public' space, you must be wanting the answers. So as it goes - I hope this year is a thoughtful process in which you do your best to discover more and strive for more as well, and there by you'll be a little closer to the answers that you seek so you won't have to ask them again next year.

    Try, try again - answers are there.

    Take care

    Anita

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  3. Anonymous9:47 PM

    Im sorry:

    I dunt know u but happened to drop by yur blog..i have had the same questions myself all my childhood...and now even the answers..and even a blog..lol...if i can b of any help, id be most honoroured to help a human get some clarity of direction...

    im glad u at least express yurself so openly i just used to weep myself to the answers..at least found all of them now.

    willcomeby again.
    bet of luck..

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  4. True thoughts are the ones that can be easily expressed... and here you have proved... Kush i think this year ios going to be exiting for you,,, there will be a lot more questions that will crop up from the past and definately more that will be answered...
    Nipun

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  5. Anonymous4:26 AM

    Hey buddy,
    A belated happy birthday to you.
    I don't know if I have any answers to your questions, but I have learned a very simple truth about life and that is:
    We are only here to serve two purposes: to live and to die.
    It's in how we do both that others will remember us.

    You're a good man Kushal, so try not to sweat the small stuff, because you have friends to help you through the hard stuff.

    Hope this is your year for clairity.

    Your friend,
    Paul Guenette

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  6. hey happy bday! I'll promise to come over and poke you more at work, I'll also promise to eat more of your stash and marvel at how well you look for a man of your age hehehehehhehee, yes, yes you choose to work in a place where I rule.

    ReplyDelete
  7. hrishikesh11:59 AM

    hi Kushal ceck this site good info http://www.indiasurabhi.com/events/alamkara_5.htm

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey Kushal...

    I thought i am the only one who has this bombarding of questions on my b'days, its such a feeling of relief to know, i'm not alone! :)
    Dropped in on your blog through a common friend we have!
    Cheers...

    Neerja...

    ReplyDelete