A Birthday Comes But Once A Year...THANKFULLY!

Its here! On time, as always. No, I don’t have a Peter Pan complex nor do I crave a sip from the Fountain of Youth or Eternal Life or what have you.

So what do I have against birthdays?
For me, a Birthday brings with it a lot of pressure. Any other day, one goes through life, questioning anything and everything (if u lucky enough), from the mundane to the philosophic to the physical to whatever ur twisted mind can think of.
But for whatever reason, the questions that haunt u on ur birthday just seem to be innumerous in quantity, insurmountable in scope and surely some of the toughest ones ever.

Like: What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Who really loves me? Who doesnt? How will it all ends? Whom do I love? Can I love? WHAT is love? Am I afraid of death? What is life? How long before I am let down again? Can I trust them? Can I trust myslef? Why all this mediocrity? When will the excuses stop? What is this all about? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Will this scar heal? Do scars really heal? Am I making the right choices? Are there really any choices? How can I make a difference? Is she still with me? What do I hope to achieve by putting all this on my blog? Who the f*@# cares? Etc etc..you get the point!:-)

Needless to say, most of these questions are pretty stupid, unimportant etc but that again is not the point.Is it??lol
And the beauty of it all is that like most questions, these too don’t really have answers.
But on any other day, u r more willing to accept that reality and move ahead and try to make the best of it and learn to ask better questions and hence answer the previous...

BUT BUT BUT...on the "BIRTHDAY",one does not have that luxury.Do they??

Come Birthday and suddenly there seems to be this deathly(no pun intended) pressure to actually ANSWER those questions already! The usual simple minded explanations that you usually give yourslef and so readilly accept,just wont work Today!
And obviously one cant answer them any better than they coudl have yesterday,

And so, hence , thus, it’s frustrating, annoying and sometimes depressing!
A simple enough logic,aint it?

SO do I hate birthdays?? Not really.
Cause there r many beautiful things about birthdays.Like, today is also the day my lovely niece, Anahita came into this world 6 years ago. And sometimes looking at her smile, hearing her wish u happy birthday and say how much she loves u...u begin to realize that maybe therein lie all the answers that u might possibly need...and more.

And yes, today also marks the First Anniversary of this blog of mine. Thanks to all who have visited and continue to do so and comment and read etc etc. I appreciate it. And I apologies for the drop in posts. Will try to change that!

So, do I hate birthdays???

NO, but I am thankful that it’s just once a year! :-)